Rotten Egg SI: CBA Dictates that Final Cuts Must Irrigate Playing Surfaces With Tears

BwareDWare94

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
Messages
8,989
Reaction score
140
Rotten Egg SI: In a bizarre and long-hidden-from-the-public portion of the NFL's Collective Bargaining Agreement, it has come to our attention that the NFL has one more task to complete for players who are part of the final roster trim down to 53--they must water playing surfaces with their tears. 

"The way we see it, they're going to be crying a lot, anyway," said Roger Goodell in his informative, or shall we see admissive, presser. "You've got 22 guys bawling for hours on end. We might as well make use of them."
 
"It's not an ideal scenario for guys who are chasing their dreams," said NFLPA President Eric Winston. "The truth is, it was the only way we could get the owners to concede to softer practice schedules."
 

BwareDWare94

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
Messages
8,989
Reaction score
140
Too dark? I'm going to try to write 1-2 more, today.
 

bosoxlover12

We're Onto Cincinnati
ADMIN
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Messages
36,768
Reaction score
1,153
I personally just don't find these that funny.
 

Pugz

#ForPaul
Hall of Fame
Joined
Jun 17, 2007
Messages
127,713
Reaction score
2,100
not too dark but didn't have your typical pizaz to it
 

BwareDWare94

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
Messages
8,989
Reaction score
140
bosoxlover12 said:
I personally just don't find these that funny.
 
Oh, I know it's very hit or miss, but so is The Onion's website. Satire is quite difficult.
 
I'm trying to think of a Rotten Egg Tim Tebow story, but it's not coming to me.
 

bosoxlover12

We're Onto Cincinnati
ADMIN
Joined
Aug 16, 2010
Messages
36,768
Reaction score
1,153
I think the problem is that for the most part, the headline has to be the main grabber and the funniest part, of an Onion article.
 
 
For example, "Jayson Werth Catches Foul Ball Without Spilling Beer". That's a good title, because of how ridiculous it is. Its short and simple, yet conveys tons of humor with it.
 
When I see in the New Content Menu "Rotten Egg SI: CBA Dictates that Final Cuts Must Irrigate..." it just doesn't lure me into clicking the article. Doesn't show the whole title, and in general it isn't a conveying title to read.
 
 
 
I'm not trying to be mean or anything here, I'm just trying to offer some advice here to get these better. It should have a post-tag, not taking up title space
 

BwareDWare94

Where were you when the world stopped turning?
Joined
Jan 26, 2011
Messages
8,989
Reaction score
140
bosoxlover12 said:
I think the problem is that for the most part, the headline has to be the main grabber and the funniest part, of an Onion article.
 
 
For example, "Jayson Werth Catches Foul Ball Without Spilling Beer". That's a good title, because of how ridiculous it is. Its short and simple, yet conveys tons of humor with it.
 
When I see in the New Content Menu "Rotten Egg SI: CBA Dictates that Final Cuts Must Irrigate..." it just doesn't lure me into clicking the article. Doesn't show the whole title, and in general it isn't a conveying title to read.
 
 
 
I'm not trying to be mean or anything here, I'm just trying to offer some advice here to get these better. It should have a post-tag, not taking up title space
 
I know what you mean. I usually try to have shorter titles.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Who Wins Game 5?

  • Tampa Bay Rays (Away)

    Votes: 5 33.3%
  • Houston Astros (Home)

    Votes: 10 66.7%
Top